"Foundation"

So you told me you have feelings for me, and you expected that nothing will change afterwards? That at least it's out? Do you know how stupid it is? What was the purpose of the revelation in the first place?

Oh wait I know. So that you would feel better afterwards, right? So that you'd feel "liberated" and you'll have nothing to keep thinking about regarding that matter, right?

Fun fact: admitting that you have feelings for someone means there's actually a living,breathing entity that you admitted your feelings to, and that entity might have something to say or feel too.

..You didn't know that? ...Really? So what's important for you is that you're good to go; and you'll leave the other to rot?

And that's not even the only issue. What's up with you and pretending to be a robot or an ice queen from time to time? Or was I talking to different clones of you? Yeah maybe that's it. That should explain why you're fun and sweet at one second, and a cold-hearted cybernetic organism in another -- and none of your clones don't even know what the other was doing. Tsk.

You've lost lot of close friends before -- and i used to be puzzled about it. But now? After all these? I think i know why.

I didn't want to lose you. You're very, very, very important to me. And after your charade a couple of days ago? I might actually have realized that I LOVE YOU. But you lack consistency. You lack empathy.

And it hurts me.

But for the benefit of us both, I think it's best that we stop. After 9 years, who knew a revelation (who had a positive facade) will be the one who breaks us apart?

No, i think unlike our previous "falling apart" sessions, this one's permanent. And i'd really, really hate myself if we're ever gonna talk again. So if ever you're reading this, i suggest you block me off in every single possible communication pathways.

Because i can't do it. I wanted to do it. Really badly. But I can't.

Funny, I thought I could finally confirm that I broke free from my-ex wife's cage. That I was ready to really love someone again without looking back. I WAS so sure. Because nothing could beat 9 years of "foundation".

Woops, yes there is.

PS. Finally, after that one mushy and very stupid post yesterday, this blog's main and true purpose is finally reinstated: It's where i pour out my frustrations; and so far, "Us" was the worst frustration i've encountered.