Of Vegeta and Pitfalls

I don't get it. At all.

I'm doing my best. And i mean my BEST. but why isn't it good enough? :(

And that's not just saying something. I'm not some amateur artist or animator. Not saying that i'm so sure of myself but I know i am capable of producing great art and animation; and a lot of people know that.

But, is it by fate that none of them want me? It's as if like i'm destined to NOT land a job even if my portfolio is solid and my skills above average. I've applied to not one but more than five jobs just this month. NONE of them wanted me. BUT if you look at my competitors, they're not as good. Not as experienced. In fact, i've looked into what these employers have produced and i can see A LOT of technical and visual errors that i could have CORRECTED.

I don't get it. Seriously. :(

Is this karma? I don't believe in karma at all but seriously if there's a God up there? He's screwing with me. I'm totally confused.

I would've asked myself, "what would Candy say?", but no, she'll probably scold me after saying all these.and say "you're being overly dramatic again".

Now, i think i'd put myself in the situation of my other idol,. Vegeta. So it's "what would Vegeta do?"

....and i think Vegeta would get infuriated and go berserk. :/

.. BUT, he will train even harder afterwards. so that's that.

..whaddya know? right now i have a shoulder to cry to. guess who? my ex-wife.

..*sigh. i feel so helpless and useless... if this is karma.. if this is what i'm supposed to experience after all the evil things i've done in the past.. then okay, bring 'em on.

..but is it really bad to cry and feel self-pity.. ?