Give me a sign.

I had to do it.

I admit that i became some sort of a stalker ever since we parted ways. Had to search her name in google, in facebook, and everything else in between; just to get updates from her. Thankfully i discovered that she created a new blog, and she was updating it frequently.

I was... rather happy to still be updated with what's happening to her; heck i even endured how she still post stuff that she have learned or read somewhere (and it was the opposite when we're still okay). All in all, it's as if we didn't "broke up" (for the lack of a better term).

But then, one day the blog just disappeared. I got worried, so i checked her facebook page. Yep, she's still there. And then i saw that she became friends with one of her exes.

Ouch.

I hate exes. My ex-wife, when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend and we were just starting out, she was making it obvious that she still loves her ex and i didn't confront her about it. My other ex, whom i was ready to leave my wife behind for,... she left me for an ex. And now, seeing her becoming friends with her ex again, ...i snapped.

I had to do it.

I blocked her.

It was an over-reaction, i know. But, it was kind of an impulse -- due to the trauma that exes brought a long time ago. Or maybe i was just using this alibi and i wanted to block her so that i could finally forget about her.

Did it help me in any way? NO. It made me miss her even more. :(

And i realized -- that i guess... i wasn't over her; at least not in a way that i thought i would be.

I still miss her. I miss our talks, i miss our banters, i miss her "teachings".. i miss her.

Until now i still don't understand why she had to let go of me; or maybe i just don't want to understand.

We had potential. But beyond that, we were great as friends. I think i never admitted it to her but she was my source of creative inspiration! Whenever i ran out of ideas i just talk to her, or just think of her (yes, actually) and boom. I instantly have an idea. The ideas kept pouring even more whenever i share it with her.

I miss you, Arthemis. Yes, Arthemis. the real Arthemis. My GF (Guardian Force). Adrian still longs for you. :(

If there's this slight chance that you'll be able to read this, then yeah, i hope deep down you still miss me too. I don't care about our feelings anymore (though it's a plus) ... i just.. i think...

I want you back.

I don't know when, or how, i just want you back. I feel so incomplete. Not to be overly dramatic again, but, that's just how i feel right now.

Give me a sign.