A Robot.

Ugh.

Either i'm bipolar, or one day i suddenly woke up and i've decided that i hate her again when just a few days ago i was so sure that i wanted her back.

It's... sad. That feeling that you needed either a person or a book to guide you; to hold your hand and show you how to live your life..

That's gotta be annoying. That's gotta be limiting! I wouldn't last a day given the fact that virtually (and exaggeratedly) every single thing i do with my life should be dictated by a book; or, an author of a book (who's also only a mere human,btw)... to the point that if i was told that in order to be "happy" i shouldn't breathe for an hour everyday; or i should eat at least an ounce of human feces every week, i'd do it.

A blank slate. A dummy. Or... okay, a robot. Yep, sorry. A robot.

A robot who willingly offers itself to be programmed and re-programmed by another individual who tells it that only through putting instructions on it could make it truly happy.

The thought that i fell for a girl like that makes me cringe. I have to keep reminding myself that throughout all my adult life i tend to date girls who are wild and free - girls who wouldn't care about what others would say; girls who just "wing it" and take on challenges that life gives them head on without the need of any guide BUT HERSELF. It's not because of fate that i dated girls like them; it's because it was MY choice. MY preference. I never needed to consult someone or something for that.

And yeah, that preference is for keeps. I am looking forward to having a relatioship with another carefree girl, very soon. I wasn't looking before, but i think it's about time that i do.

I'd say, congrats -- thinking about having a relationship with someone like you is goosebumps-inducing; so you've successfully got me off your back.

I've moved on. And when i've decided on something, it's final.

Yep, it is.